Darting down the highway going 75 to 80 miles per hour near the 38th Avenue exit on I-25, I tried switching lanes and lost control of my car. I smashed into the cement highway divider and was immediately knocked unconscious. I was awoken by a police officer standing next to my crushed and smoking 2003 Hyundai Tiburon. When I came to, the smoke in the interior of my car was so thick that it burnt with every breath that I took, and it appeared so thick that it could have been cut with a knife. From the impact the airbags had deployed releasing a strong gun powder odor. My rear view mirror was sitting on the passenger seat beside me, the glove compartment was hanging on by a mere thread, and all of my personal belongings had been thrown through out the car, looking much like a tornado had struck it. The police officer asked me. "Are you okay?" I replied, "I think so." Then his next question was the one that was going to decide my fate, "How much did you drink tonight because you reek of booze?" At this point I was still trying to figure out where I was and what was going to happen. "I am not really sure, a few shots and some mixed drinks" I said. He then added, "You are lucky that you are not hurt worse, but because your accident is so bad you are going to be spending the night in the hospital instead of in detox. Wait here for the ambulance while I talk to the other officers." I am now viewed through the eyes of society as a criminal. To me criminals are people who commit murders or robberies. I didn't commit a murder but there was a high chance that someone else could have been involved. I thank my lucky stars that no one else was involved and I didn't hurt myself worse. This accident was my life wake up call. I knew that after the accident there was no excuse for me not to get my life together. I didn't really know how or what was going to happen, but I knew that changes had to be made immediately.
Before this event I had had some close calls and they only seemed to make an impact for a short amount of time. Sooner or later I fell back into the same routine and those close calls became a subject of laughter during my drinking escapades. I always knew that my time was coming and that I needed to get myself under control before I had to pay serious consequences. Unfortunately, I was not strong enough to do this on an individual basis. All of my friends that I hung out with were drinkers and I did not know how to separate myself. If I didn't go with them they would give me a hard time until I did go with them or get mad that I was not hanging out with them. This should have been a clear indication that they were not true friends. Upon accepting the concept that my friends were nothing more that acquaintances or "drinking buddies" I became really depressed. I felt like I was alone and all of the time and effort put in to maintain the friendships was a waste. However, on the other hand I realized that it was a blessing in disguise. If I were to continue to hang out with those "friends" all the time, chances are that I would still be making the same stupid decisions that got me into trouble in the first place.
My quality of life during my drinking year was almost non existent. Waking up feeling groggy and sick from the hangovers made it impossible for me to do anything besides go to work. With that, my work performance was less than stellar and my attitude was atrocious. I was miserable, there was so much outside pressure to go back to school and get a real job that I just drank my sorrows away. Now I am in school and working towards starting my career. I have become a more proactive person and less of a procrastinator. Not to mention I have saved tremendous amounts of money by not blowing it at the bar every night. It's a great feeling to be able to right my wrongs and make positive strides in my life. I wouldn't go back to my drinking days for all the money in the world. Looking back, I have no idea how I did it and why I put so much energy into something so detrimental for my life.
It has been nine months since my accident and I now realize that this is single handedly the best thing that could have happened to me. It happened at an opportune time and for a great reason. I was on the edge, teetering back and forth, about to lose complete control of my life, and BAM I was knocked back into control. I am so very thankful that my situation was not worse. I could have encountered a different side to the legal system if someone else was involved. Additionally, I could have taken my own life and not be able to write this paper right now. Don't get me wrong, the punishments and emotional ups and downs that I have encountered thus far have not been easy and I am dealing with and uphill battle everyday , but I would much rather be around to talk about my experience and how it has changed me rather than be behind bars for the rest of my life or not have a life at all.
This photo is from the Foley Gallery and the author is Rosalind Solomon.
